Why am I in this place?

As I sit and reflect upon the state I'm now in, is it all worth what I've given up? Am I trying to hold on to something that can't and never will be? Here now, facing myself, I can't hide behind excuses. I can't lay blame on anyone else. Should I pray for courage to attain the wisdom and not just happenstance? My time passed gives evidence to the realities of what's been. Will I continue to accept that which I should never have allowed? Why am I in this place?